Good intentions told me to walk the dog around the block. Like I do every morning.
Somehow on this 3rd day of a new month and year, I'm already behind with my good intentions. You know those, the ones that we thought we'd have time to complete over the holidays to ready ourselves, homes, offspring for this new year. I'm already feeling the pressure to 'catch up', measure up, make up for my own blinding shortcomings, laziness, anxiety with wifehood, motherdom, friendships. Three days and I'm already imperfect again. Not that I ever wasn't, but a fresh new beginning helps me to shed extra skins of flaws.
This morning, I fell hard on some ice that had blanketed the earth during the night, made even more slick by its own melting. He always seems to be teaching me with snow. I laid there for a moment in the wet and listened to an elderly woman shouting at me in Deutsch tongue down the way. Having seen the 'incident', I'm sure she was making sure I was still breathing.
On the creeping, painful walk back to my own yard, I thought about THE Fall. In the VERY beginning. In the only PERFECTION that ever was. How many days did it take Adam and Eve to mess THAT up? They fell hard.......and OUT. Here's the thing though......HE KNEW THEY WOULD.
Just like He knows I screw up, that I did and WILL screw up. In my words, unreached goals, relationships, imperfections. And yet he still wanted to embrace me so badly, He built a bridge across all my muddy failings, fashioned from the remnants of a very bloody Cross completed to perfection by His Own. HE is the God of New Beginnings. Fresh starts. The Unexplainable Grace that breathes life, daily, moment by moment, when I fall, AGAIN and the breath of the world is knocked out of me. The One Who Gives Life is right there, pulling me aright........once more.